Trip to JCPenny's - Part I

I don't know why, but every now and again I get the notion that I can do certain things with kids in tow. I convince myself of things like, "It won't be a big deal to take my two sons to the mall so I can make a quick return." With this delusional thought in mind, I head out with my two boys.

Once there, I park the car and lay down the law before we exit the vehicle. I review things like basic human courtesies and appropriate out-and-about behavior. We then head into the store.

We pass the escalator on the way to the appropriate department and the kids beg to ride the "ex-ka-later". I see this as an opportunity to offer a reward if they behave themselves. I make the necessary return and the boys are behaving beautifully so off to the escalator we go.

Up, up, up. That was fun. Now let's go down.

We climb on immediately followed by a mom, her teen daughter and her friend. We're halfway down and my older son crouches down with his hands on the step between his feet. My younger son starts screaming, "You're going to get your hands caught! You're going to get your hands caught!"

Between frantic yells from the (then) 3-year old, I intervene and tell the older boy to stand up. We're almost to the bottom at this point. Instead of simply standing up like any normal person, my older son leaps from the step and lands on the large metal landing at the bottom in the same crouched position.

The sudden thud shuts down the escalator. The mom, daughter and teen, along with myself and my younger son all continue to shift forward and down even though the stairs have stopped moving. We catch ourselves to keep from falling over. The teens almost spill their coffee drinks on us but think the whole thing is hilarious. The other mom and I do not.

As if the thunderous sound of my son hitting the landing and the sudden stop of the stairs isn't enough, my 3-year old yells, "Mommy, he broke the ex-ka-later!"

The heat is rising within and I feel it in my face. I grab my youngest by the hand and walk down the remaining stairs. I take the older boy by the hand and we high-tail it out of there.

I locate a quiet area and sternly ask the older boy why on earth he had just done what he did. With big green eyes and heart-felt sincerity he replies, "I was being Spidy (Spiderman)."


Lessons learned:
1. Escalators shut off when blunt force is applied to the landing.
2. Bodies continue in motion when the escalator stops moving. It's best to keep a buffer zone between you and the others on the stairs.
3. Little boys do not have the ability to control themselves if the opportunity to act out a superhero move presents itself.
4. Little boys can melt your heart ...and your anger.