The Party of Utter Embarrassment

The following isn't for readers who don't discuss bodily functions. (I used to be like that.) ........

The kids and I recently attended a friend's birthday party. The place was crowded with people. In the midst of the fun, my son comes running up to me saying his belly hurts. I tell him we need to go home if he's sick. Ironically, he says he's not sick after all and runs off to play with the other kids.

Shortly after that, he returns and loudly announces, "I have to go poop." I escort him to the bathroom where he spends the next 20 minutes taking care of business. Finally he shouts out, "I'm all done poopin'!"

I enter the bathroom to assist. We flush the toilet and turn to wash hands. As we're drying our hands, I hear the toilet contents running onto the bathroom floor. OH NO!
I jiggle the lever to get the water to stop running but it won't! The toilet continues to run, pouring the contents onto the floor! I whip off the lid to lift the thing-a-ma-bob in the tank that makes the water stop running. Shwew. That worked.

Now, to clear the pipes I need a plunger. I drop the thing in the tank to search for a plunger but the toilet quickly overflows again. Geez! What do I do?

There I am, a guest in a friend's home, my hand in a toilet that's overflowed, stuff all over the floor, and I can't find a plunger. My son stands there watching the events unfold and then turns to saunter off to play. I call out to him to find the host to request help. He's reluctant to obey but gives me the token, "Yes, Mommy."

My son enters the adjacent room that's crowded with guests and to my horror says, "My mom needs help. She broke your toilet and there's stuff all over the floor."


Lessons learned:
1. A good friend will invite you back after your child's duty hits their floor.
2. It's a good thing to know how to shut off the water on a toilet.
3. Children with belly aches usually mean one of two things: they're going to vomit or they're going to poop.